bsgac

At 12:50 PM.

He was 6 lbs 11 oz and 20 inches, but doesn’t have a name yet.

He has nice sized berries to go with his twig.

Let the fun begin.

This morning I was awakened to Ava screaming for Mom at 6:15. The rule for Grace is that she stay in her bed until 7 am. We figure that if she has nothing better to do, she will go back to sleep. This morning, Ava was bugging me and I got up to close our bedroom door to drown out some of the noise.

I got out of bed and to the door only to see the girl’s bedroom door wide open and the blinds open as well. Grrrrrrr…. I stormed down the hall, getting my temper under control and walked into the room to find Grace already with her green church dress on and trying to figure out how to put on her socks. She had pulled out everything she needed for church, including shoes and was getting ready.

I told her she had to get the dress off and go back to bed. I could see in her face that her feelings had been hurt, and she tried to choke back the tears that were destined to come as soon as I left the room or within 20 seconds, whichever came first. Rather than have her bawling in the same room as Ava (because let’s face it: I hadn’t come to my facilities yet and thought there was still hope for Ava to go back to sleep), I told her she could go downstairs and play quietly.

“Ok Dada,” Grace responded with a smile, arms around my neck, and kiss. I went back to bed. It was 6:16 and Sunday is my only day to sleep past 6 am. She went downstairs.

I crawled back into bed and had one of those epiphany/guilt replays in my mind. It occurred to me that the last thing on Grace’s sweet little mind was waking up Ava or being bad (in fact, she had intentionally tried to be really quiet, which translates to pony in the house, not elephant). She was trying do something nice for mom and dad by getting ready for church all by herself, in an effort for our approval.

I felt bad about misreading her motives and knee-jerking to the situation without putting myself in her shoes. Admittedly, it is hard to put yourself in the shoes of a 4 year old: to reason how they reason and to perceive the circumstances and environment they way they perceive and value the environment and circumstances. So often, my perception of the situation is skewed by my personal view of the circumstances and situation that without taking the time to think about why Grace is getting ready for church at 6:15, opening shutters even earlier, and trying to be quiet (after all, Ava wokeher up), that my reaction is inappropriate once her perspective is taken into account.

So, tired as I was, I got myself out of bed, marched down stairs, and apologized to my little girl for misreading the situation:

“You were just trying to make mom and dad proud of you weren’t you.”

“Yes dada.”

“I love you, Grace.”

“I love you too, dada.”

Eating crow at 6:17 am was enough to get that extra fifeteen minutes of sleep I wanted.

After dinner last night, we were all sitting at the table, just talking and digesting when Grace looked over at Buddy (who was tipping back in his chair with both arms behind his head) and announced, “Daddy, why do you have fur under your arms?”

You can imagine the look we exchanged and then we all busted up laughing.

All I can say is, I am glad she didn’t say that to me because who knows, with all my raging pregnancy hormones, I just might have started crying.

A recent conference talk got me thinking about these verses:

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy , and without guile —

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost ; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-44

I have read these verses many times over the years. As I was reading them today, however, I asked myself how one recognizes when they are moved upon by the Holy Ghost to reprove with sharpness? The default is to reprove mildly, with kindness, love, and long-suffering. The long-suffering part is hard, especially as a parent because you want to deal with the behavior in the NOW (for example, my wonderful first born’s incessant screaming when she is excited or playing).

But how does one recognize the prompting to reprove with sharpness? Generally, reproving in this way is done in a spirit of frustration or anger – not exactly the right frame of mind to be in tune with the spirit of God. In thinking about the scriptures, the only time I can really recall this type of reproof is when Christ cleaned the temple. Certainly, he was full of the spirit of God, and certainly he was sharp in that instance. In nearly every other example of the Savior’s life, however, we see a gentleness. My favorite example is repeatedly finding Peter, James, and John asleep in the garden while he paid the price of all of our sins – in each instance when he returned to find his disciples asleep, his reproof was mild and loving.

In what instances is sharpness appropriate, in light of the default prohibition to reprove with long suffering, meeknees, and love unfeigned? How do we know it is the spirit moving us and not a spirit of frustration or anger?

Recently, I was looking through a book I hadn’t opened for a couple of years. What fell out but my ticket from the 2000 Oberammergau Passion play in the Bavaria region of Germany. It was a very good trip, actually with BYU travel study